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It was while planning this vacation that it hit me: The two longest relationships of my life have both been with men who I was never officially dating.

Boyfriends and girlfriends have come and gone, but my friends with benefits have stood the test of time. That’s longer than I predict my first marriage will last.

Some assume that one of the “buddies” is always being strung along, secretly hoping that the fucking leads to something more serious.

Others dismiss fuck-buddy dynamics as just being compulsive sex that’s devoid of emotion. Surely it’s possible to find a middle ground between eternal love and zombie-fucking a stranger: a place where you can care about someone, have good sex, and yet not want to literally implode at the thought of them sleeping with someone else. Case in point: The most significant romantic friendship of my life was with an ex-editor of mine, whom I’ll call Malcolm.

Nothing makes us happier than good sex, especially when it’s constant.

But as all men push dumb hard to maintain a healthy sex life, most wind up falling short because of their whack bed game and pickup skills..topic_pill.topic_pill a.topic_pill:hover a.action_button.action_button:active.action_button:hover.action_button:focus.action_button:hover.action_button:focus .count.action_button:hover .count.action_button:focus .count:before.action_button:hover .count:before.submit_button.submit_button:active.submit_button:hover.submit_button:not(.fake_disabled):hover.submit_button:not(.fake_disabled):focus._type_serif_title_large.js-wf-loaded ._type_serif_title_large.amp-page [email protected] only screen and (min-device-width:320px) and (max-device-width:360px).u-margin-top--lg.u-margin-left--sm.u-flex.u-flex-auto.u-flex-none.bullet. Content Wrapper:after.hidden.normal.grid_page.grid_page:before,.grid_page:after.grid_page:after.grid_page h3.grid_page h3 a.grid_page h3 a:hover.grid_page h3 a.action_button.grid_page h3 a.action_button:active.grid_page h3 a.action_button:hover.grid_page h3 a.action_button:not(.fake_disabled):hover.grid_page h3 a.action_button:not(.fake_disabled):focus.grid_pagediv. So what is it about the friends with benefits dynamic that is more sustainable, and often more transparent, than an actual relationship? They’re like: How can you have sex with the same person, again and again, without falling in love?Or at least, without getting super-jealous and –esque?(Like once I let Malcolm tie me to a dresser while I watched him have sex with my best friend.Unsurprisingly, it was literally awful, but now at least I can say I’ve done it?)One of the most masterful fuck friends I know is my friend Casey, a 26-year-old Ph. candidate in English, who until recently had a FWB for .It started when she was 13, with a boy whose family spent every summer in the same beach town as she did.She doesn’t know that loving you is the worst way to get to you.” Harsh.But sometimes, romantic friendships can offer a type of intimacy that committed relationships can’t.

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