In this game you're the only human attending a school for pigeons (duh) and you're trying to fit in as best your can while leveling up your character in order to be able to better date What are the two things all women love (if you're a sexist monster)? So obviously the big money on bringing women into the mobile gaming market is to put those two things together into one very strange dating sim.This is my less than subtle way of suggesting that the ideal partner we fantasize about is usually an absurd abstraction.Even a person with all the specifications we think we want would not be perfect for us, because there’s still so much left to go wrong (even when all those things are “right”).Unlike your friends or the places you end up standing in line, online-dating sites provide vast quantities of single people all at once—and then incentivize you to make plans with as many of them as possible.Online-dating enthusiasts argue that you know more about first-date strangers for having read their profiles; online-dating detractors argue that your date’s profile was probably full of lies (and indeed, fine publications from have run features on how to spot just such digital deceptions).There’s also the minor technicality that even when we think we know what we want, we probably don’t.How often are we excited to get exactly the person we want, only to discover within a few months that they’re not so great after all?The game ends when one player completes a partner (and so earns a 15-point bonus), but whoever has the most points “wins.” The highest-scoring possible partner—one with 5 attribute types in all attribute categories—is a visual catastrophe.This person is the exquisite corpse gone wrong, a biologically impossible remix of different ages, races, genders, sizes, and abilities. Well, they’re kind of exactly what they sound like, except they’re totally weird in a million different, unimaginable ways. Can you really say you’re surprised that a dating simulation would have unsettling undertones?Dating sims are games where you play as a man, woman, or genderless person who is trying to win the love of something (human or otherwise) via text based commands. If you’ve played any of these dating sims don’t be embarrassed, the games look fun – albeit incredibly tedious – and how many people can say that they’ve taken a bug-creature dressed like a Japanese school girl out on a date?