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After all, “he doesn’t know any better, he’s just socially awkward” is frequently the defense used to explain away the bad behavior of various men. An awkward guy may make people feel uncomfortable because they don’t know better.They may lack the socialization to realize that there’s a line.Distinguishing between the malefactors, the clueless and the teachable can be crucial.

After all, “he doesn’t know any better, he’s just socially awkward” is frequently the defense used to explain away the bad behavior of various men. An awkward guy may make people feel uncomfortable because they don’t know better.

But much of this involves a lot of personal involvement.

This means meetings and meals and one-on-one discussions.

Just as importantly, however, is the effect that this can have on a professional level.

The aphorism “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know” is a cliche for a reason and that’s never more true than when we’re talking about jobs and careers.

But the more above board you can be, the less cover you inadvertently give to the predators.

One of the ongoing topics on this site has been distinguishing oneself between someone who’s well-meaning but awkward and the creepers.

And so for them, I want to talk about what it means to not be The Creep at work, at the conference or in class.

Whenever the topic of shitty and predatory behavior from men comes up, there are inevitably people who will chime in with “I avoid this by never interacting with women…

Because the powers that be in these industries tend to look the other way or downplay the severity of the actions of creeps and predators, women share names amongst themselves: who’s safe, who’s ok unless they’ve been drinking, who they should never be alone in a room with. From commenting on the unfairness of anonymous accusations without the ability to defend themselves to just being afraid of ending up on the list through innocent mistakes, many men seemed to take issue with the existence of the list itself. The issue isn’t about people misunderstanding innocent flirtations or good guys getting caught up by oversensitive women.

It’s about a culture of predation and harassment that’s endemic in multiple industries.