Ivillage dating advice

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Pre-Marriage Therapy: Can You Divorce-Proof Your Relationship? A recent article in the New York Times calls attention to the fact that more and more couples are seeking professional help for their issues before they walk down the aisle - and oftentimes before they're even engaged.But when Jude and Brad can't keep from straying from seemingly ideal women like Sienna Miller and Aniston, we're left to wonder what that means for the rest of us. Michele answers: Having worked with many Hollywood couples, there is no question that the lifestyles of the rich and famous make commitment and fidelity a daunting task.A poll done by the New York Times in 2000 found that 44 percent of the male respondents admitted to having had an extramarital affair (and that percentage doesn't include those unfaithful guys who weren't willing to own up to their transgressions). But for those of us who live outside of Tinseltown, life is filled with its own share of monumental relationship challenges.We wanted to take a look at how couples are affected by this phenomenon of perfectionism.So we asked our panel of experts, the Love Council, to weigh in: How does "mommy madness" affect marriage, and what can women do to bring the focus back to that other important relationship - the one between husband and wife? And because they don't always handle rejection maturely or directly, they tend to stop participating as partners, and instead act out. You're overwhelmed with the nagging sense that your gut instincts have failed you miserably - that your mate is not your soul mate at all and that you may have made the biggest mistake of your life. And take it from me, as a veteran married and a marriage educator, I know that important relationship skills can be learned. i Village asks: We've all heard about the seven-year itch, but the recent breakups of some two-year marriages in Hollywood are making us wonder if couples should be on their guard much earlier. The only difference is that veteran marrieds have learned how to deal with their differences. The Two Year Itch: Threatening 'Till Death Do Us Part'?Finding a Soul Mate: Realistic Goal or Lofty Expectation? But at the same time, that attraction conveniently causes you to overlook any blaring differences between the two of you. An article from News Australia states that one in 12 couples is headed for divorce after two years, which is double the odds for couples who've been together for seven years.i Village asks: A recent Gallup poll shows that 94 percent of people who've never been married agreed that they want their spouse to be their "soul mate" first and foremost. The more women dream about soul mates, the less I'll have to worry about job security. You're happily surprised to discover that your partner loves the same kind of music you do, shares your passion for Thai food and adores beach vacations as opposed to skiing jaunts (just like you! "Could it be," you ask yourself, "that I have truly found my one and only soul mate? What's more, a study done in Denmark reveals that the risk of a split rises rapidly during the first 18 months of marriage and then slows just before a couple reaches the two-year mark.Research reveals that 86 percent of unhappy couples who weathered the storm for five years were very glad they did, and their marriages greatly improved as a result. Marriage seminars that teach couples the skills they need to handle the inevitable once-the-honeymoon-is-over conflicts can be found in every community. Jude Law's recent infidelity and the speculation that Brad Pitt cheated on Jennifer Aniston are the focus of the media's fascination.Read books on building relationship skills, hire a therapist who believes in marriage, interview couples who beat the odds. Whether these actors live in such a different reality that this kind of thing might be part of the job description, we can't say.


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