You might stay friends with some; some you may never speak to again after your second date.Just keep your mind open to the possibilities (and remember to ask them for podcast recommendations). As well-meaning as they are, married people have an uncanny ability to come across as condescending when they’re aiming to be helpful and supportive.
(If one more person with a spouse asks me, “But have you tried online dating?
” I swear I will scream.)It’s easy to let your mind go wild with “the grass is always greener” fantasies and convince yourself that marital status equates some kind of superiority. Trust me, I’ve been down this rabbit hole a thousand times and the only place it leads is straight into an entire row of Oreos.
Maybe you just needed to feel a different person’s hand in yours.
Even the casual guys that seem to drift in and out of your life as warm and brief as a summer weekend mean something.
Hitting the dating scene in your fifth decade can feel so… After all, there are likely to be children in the picture, and behind every potential partner is a sheer lifetime of romantic experience (and a much, much longer trail of exes). In fact, if you’re dating as a forty-something, you’re guaranteed to be wiser, better at dating, better at knowing what you want, and a lot less impulsive and sensitive to rejection.
That said, if you’re recently single for the first time in a long time, you may not know where to begin.
“For instance, if you don’t want to date someone who has kids, you’ll save yourself loads of time by simply saying no to anyone who wants to date you and who already has a brood. Forget judgment—just be true to you and you’ll be successful at dating.” And if you’re dabbling in online dating, make sure you know the 30 Worst Phrases to Use on Your Profile. “There are many potential partners out there that are diamonds in the rough.
It’s not always easy, but think outside the box.” And for more heartfelt advice, know the 40 Secrets of Couples Who’ve Been Married 40 Years.
On the one hand, I am a strong, confident woman, and I know what I want!
On the other, I’m definitely not giving every potential partner a fair shot, and I’m giving guys who aren’t really right for me way too much of my heart too soon. But we’re also human, you and I, and when all our romantic energy is directed at just one person (even when it’s “so low-key”) we will not be able to keep things casual forever. Things like physical and emotional boundaries can help keep a relationship casual, but keeping more than one person in the mix will also keep feelings in check and remind you that you’re “out there” as much for yourself as for the people you might meet.