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Learning where your partner likes to go will provide insight into the person’s tastes and temperament. Though it might not lead to a long conversation, it does help you understand their personality. Or he or she could just be psyching herself up to finally try escargot. What toppings are needed to create the perfect burger? What obstacles does he/she define as the ‘hardest’? Even if the answer is a fun one, try to appreciate how strength was shown in weakness.Assuming your date’s not a vegetarian, get the conversation going with a pretty innocent—but telling—question. Hearing your date brag about someone else might reveal more about him/her than a series of direct personal questions would. Now that you’re armed with some great first date questions, let’s review a few general guidelines for dating discourse: Listen as much or more than you talk Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly.
Should the relationship evolve, there will be plenty of time to get into weighty topics. Don’t dump If feeling inhibited is a problem for some people, others go to the opposite extreme: they use a date as an opportunity to purge and vent.
When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy.
Follow up with questions about why the person become so passionate about this particular endeavor or emphasis. Which will give you a chance to share about your own most fascinating work experience.
Though lighthearted, this first date question gives your could-be partner the opportunity to exercise their storytelling abilities. Do you have a special place you like to visit regularly? Instead of asking the predictable ‘What’s your favorite kind of food?
You’ll discover how particular your date is about his food, how adventurous his or her palate is, and if you share a love (or hatred) of mustard. What’s the most embarrassing concert you’ve ever attended? Maybe it’s a tiny trinket that represents a cherished person or memory. Get to know the people in your date’s life by asking about the most fascinating one. But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part.
It’s easy to brag when you’re around someone new, who doesn’t know you quite yet. This first date question top break the ice will help you to discover your date’s priorities, passions and pursuits. Putting your date on the spot might make the first answer an awkward one; let him/her amend the answer as the night goes on. The best communication occurs with an even and equal exchange between two people.
Turn the tables and choose to share guilty pleasures instead. Some very respectable folks have been to Barry Manilow — and/or Yo Gabba Gabba — concerts. Think of conversation as a tennis match in which the players lob the ball back and forth. Peel the onion, don’t stab it with a paring knife Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion one thin layer at the time. But some people, over-eager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast.
They ask personal or sensitive questions that put the other person on the defensive.
In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy.
Now that you’ve got questions for your first date, try setting one up on e Harmony.