But your lack of a fulfilling love life isn’t something that surprises you, because you believe that any man who would really make a decent husband or boyfriend can do better than you.
When you date, it’s usually men that others might consider losers, but that’s because you either think it’s the best you can do, or that you’ve done something in your past that you think makes you undesirable or unworthy of true love.
If the shoe were on the other foot, wouldn’t you resent someone who thought you “needed fixing? Find a way to channel your instinct to do good where it will be truly needed.
” Helping someone realize his or her true potential may be an admirable aspiration, but if you really want to guide someone along this path, you might want to take it out of the context of your personal relationships and apply those talents and instincts elsewhere. Start looking for a man you can think of as a partner, rather than a project, and you’re much more likely to find long-term happiness.
When a relationship ends, in many ways, it’s like a death. By forgiving your ex, forgiving yourself, and letting go, you’re actually making yourself a better candidate for the next love that comes along.
You’re In Denial What do you mean my husband/boyfriend/lover isn’t good enough for me?
The short answer is to get some counseling to discover the source of your lack of self-esteem, and begin to heal it.
Loving and being loved isn’t an automatic given in anyone’s life, but thinking of yourself as undeserving is something that, with help, you can likely overcome, and loving yourself is the first step in being able to love and be loved by someone wonderful.
You might rationalize that they’re just jealous of you, or that they simply don’t understand your situation, but if you find yourself repeatedly having to explain his bad behavior, it’s likely that there’s at least some truth to what they’re saying.
Men who cheat, beat, or otherwise abuse a woman are not good men at all, and no amount of wishful thinking on your part is going to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. If one person tells you your man isn’t up to par, you should certainly reserve judgment, but if there’s a resounding chorus of concern from everyone who loves and cares for you, it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee.