Virgin dating and brides

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Even though I knew that they had lived together for several years before getting married, I never thought of them as being hypocritical, but rather I believed they did their best to keep me from making the same mistakes that they had made in their youth. In response to the many warnings about premarital sex from my church, parents, and elsewhere, I embraced an extreme: I restricted my dating life to a handful of guys in college and beyond, and I even decided to refrain from kissing the man who'd become my husband until our wedding day.We were dating for almost exactly a year before we got engaged, and we were engaged for five months before we got married.

Of course this doesn't happen 100% of the time, but it is far more prevalent than it should be.

But we had both decided that we wanted to honor each other and honor our God, and so for us the sacrifice was worth it.

We were looking forward to sharing that intimacy once we were married.

Growing up in a Christian home, I was raised to view my virginity as almost as important as my salvation. It would be hard, but if I didn't, I'd regret it for the rest of my life (or so I was told).

It was my most precious possession, to be guarded at all costs — and the loss of it before marital bliss was possibly the most shameful thing that could possibly have happened to me. It's difficult to understand if you didn't grow up in the church, but the focus on purity before marriage is pervasive in many Christian circles that I didn't even question it. When I was 15, I signed the pledge to wait to have sex until marriage.

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